Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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