First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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