I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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