Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
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he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
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The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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