If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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