oh god the rape fog is back!
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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