pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
