She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
what day is it and did you see me today?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
