i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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