What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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