oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
