Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
be right there i have to get my cape
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
