Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
