We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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