He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize