"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
