The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
