you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
