Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
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This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
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The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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