Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
BRING THE BAGELS
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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