How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
