you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize