im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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