Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
