she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
