i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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