I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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