Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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