If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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