Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
