we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
