i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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