I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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