Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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