So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
