OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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