A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
