If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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