He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
