you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
too bad you live with your parents still
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
