i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How external is "for external use only"?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize