Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Randomize
