i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
