THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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