Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think your dad took our porno
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
