so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
