Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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