Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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