I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
