What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
