thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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