Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This baby is an asshole
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize