I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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