Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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