Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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