Only a mothe r could love this liver
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
