I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If I die, sorry about rent.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
