So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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