i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize