i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
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